Welcome to Sunday’s excerpt from………..
So I told him. Well, as soon as I worked out what it was that I knew that he didn’t. It took several goes to get an answer that worked.
Suggestions, in order.
Check my phone, it gets its time off the internet.
Check the internet, it gets its time off a server somewhere.
Check the atomic clock thing at the Royal Institute of Telling The Time.
Call up the speaking clock, wait for the third stroke.
Go out in the street and ask someone. (No said Frank, they’ll just look at their phone)
Ask a policeman.
The stove at home has a clock in it.
Set up some sticks in the back yard and observe the shadows using string.
‘YES’ shouted Frank, ‘Yes, here it is in the manual!’ It’s not a manual, it’s two pieces of photocopied paper. Remember that greasy grey paper that smelt funny? That was back in the time when photocopiers had just evolved from toasters. Remind me to tell you my Intelligent Toaster joke one day.
I can’t read what’s there. It’s not that I can’t read alien script, because, unaccountably, I can. It’s just the smudges, coffee rings and the torn off corner that hinder my comprehension. Frank has a perfect memory and can read what is no longer there. He recites it to me in a voice that sounds very much like an Intelligent Toaster.
‘RESET THE CLOCK. FOR FUNCTION IN APPROPRIATE MANNER CLOCK SET MUST BE JUSTIFICATION APPLYING ARE LOCAL DIFFERENCE, PARAMOUNT AWARENESS IN CASE OF DIFFICULT’
Frank, you only had to ask.
Go to the Kagoshima Cat Shrine and ask a cat.
He’s already dialling the where and when into the espresso machine.
My final dot point has hit the target. Two concepts have collided in my brain and now we know the way forward. Well one concept landed in my brain ‘Japanese video recorder instruction’ and the other was brushing up against my leg. Mr Russell was looking up at me. Her never looks hopeful…. just completely expectant. Right furball, you’ve earned another saucer of cream.
Early time machine, Strasbourg Cathedral
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